Equal Parenting is Best for the Kids

Talking about Parenting with Rebecca and Steve on KXL101 Morning News:Shared Parenting is best according to blogger mom-of-4-boys Jennifer Fink in this recent post, "Is Shared Parenting Best for Boys after Divorce?Divorcing often means entering a lot of "uncharted waters." Jennifer recalls that she didn't know state-mandated shared-parenting would ultimately be the best solution for her sons. Now that they are entering puberty she sees how crucial it is that they have lots of dad-time and she recognizes the wisdom behind this state of Wisconsin legislation.She summarizes, "The truth is that divorcing parents don’t always make decisions according to their kids’ best interest. Anger and jealousy and fear often cloud their thinking and color their decisions. In my case, it was the court’s insistence on shared parenting that led to the co-parenting arrangement we have today, and I am so, so glad."Twenty states are now considering some form of shared-parenting laws.According to National Review, "Federal statistics show that kids with two parents are more likely to do well in school, stay out of jail, stay away from drugs and alcohol, avoid teen pregnancy, avoid depression, and, as adults, be gainfully employed than are their peers with a single parent."It is crucial to recognize that mom and dad parent differently - and boys and girls need both.And because we're all about boys here, below you'll find some tips for parenting boys.Keys to a positive mother-son relationship:

  • Healthy bonding so son grows up to feel he is loved and deserves to be loved (this is difficult to do if mom criticizes dad in front of him).

  • Allow son to separate as he develops his own identity while maintaining a strong 2-parent foundation

  • Provide discipline, structure, and rules so he learns his limits

  • Allow trusted allies to give feedback to you on your mothering techniques

  • Work out own issues so mom doesn't rely on son for emotional support

  • Love him unconditionally!

Keys to a positive father-son relationship:

  • Bond early and strongly to insure a lasting connection

  • Play with him and parent him as a dad/male

  • Show him what it is to be a good, kind, powerful, emotional man

  • Select proper activities and steer him away from harmful activities

  • Be available as needed for 'hot topics' - sex, aggression, etc.

  • Show him your spiritual side

  • Love him unconditionally!

Equal parenting after divorce may seem impossible. Striving to choose what is ultimately best for the children is important - and that means equal parenting access to BOTH parents.


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