Lazy Parenting Means Doing LESS
Do you sometimes feel less than?
Remember those > and < symbols from math class? (I could never remember which was which.)
Parenting encompasses all of it!
Sometimes in the space of 'less than' a minute you can go from parenting zen to parenting nightmare. How is that possible? Your confidence is totally shot as your kid is melting down on the floor or pounding on your bedroom door - where you've taken refuge!
Finding grace in these moments can be tough.
Sometimes it isn't until you are completely flattened with illness, depression, divorce, or overwhelm that you realize that doing less than actually adds up to greater than. Here’s what I mean — I've advocated the "Lazy Parenting" philosophy for years.
Lazy Parenting means less than which actually adds up to greater than, in the end.
When you do less, be less, accomplish less, you are opening up the world for your kids to do more, be more, and accomplish more - or at least feel like they have the know-how, (if they choose to use it!)
Before illness flattens you - lighten your load.
What can your kids be doing for themselves?
When my girls were in 1st and 3rd grades, I was teaching (and very stressed) and we had a 30-minute commute to school. Mornings were NOT pretty at my house. I did not like making lunches and I guess that was pretty obvious to my girls. Without conversation, they began to take over lunch preparations. Viola`! They got what they wanted in their own lunches AND mom was a little nicer to be with on the morning commute!
Do I advise this approach? No, not really.
Learn from my mistakes and take a serious look at what your stressors are. Then ask for help, which includes permission to be less than.
When we let go, our kids step up.
As long as we are filling the vacuum, they will default to, "Mom will do it. Dad will take care of that. I don't have to."
Recently, a parent shared with me about experiencing the pleasure her son had in cleaning up the mess he had made (milk spilled..you know). Instead of doing it herself, she gave him soap, sponge, towels, bucket…and showed him…and then let him do it. Viola'! He continued to clean the floor even after the mess was taken care of -- because he could -and because she let him!
She might have been out laying in her hammock while he cleaned up...you get the idea, right?
Where will you let yourself be less than?
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