Your Words Change Their World
No! Stop! Don't!
We run those words into the ground as parents, it seems.
Bet you never imagined you'd be THAT parent!
So much for our rosy-glow-everything-is-sweet-and-wonderful-parenting-fantasies!
We beat ourselves up at night just remembering how many times we’ve said the words that we never thought we would utter!
And then there are the actions that we never thought we'd take!
Have you thrown things, yelled at the top of your lungs, or slammed any doors lately?
And - omg - wait till I tell you what I found out today from my sister about my parent's actions when we were 8 and 6!
My point is...
we get into a rut with our words - and with our thoughts - about our kids.
We make presumptions...
"He's always going to whine and complain about homework.”
“He never tells me about his school day.”
“He resists and resents everything I try to do for him!"
(Real words from real parents).
WHAT IF by changing up some of OUR words, we could change up THEIR REALITY?
A simple change from us could change how our kids think about their world, school, homework, friends - and about themselves.
I read this great article last week: "5 Phrases That Can Change Your Child's Life" and because we were in the midst of the 5-Day Homework Challenge, I've had homework on the brain - and phrase #2 really struck a chord.
After all the complaints, battles, whining, resisting, and avoidance...imagine sitting down with your boy - whether he's a child, a tween, or a teen and saying, "You don't have to have it all figured out right now."
I'll add on to phrase #2 with, "And I've got your back - you'll have the help you need to figure it out."
Reassurance! Safety! Caring!
What would your boy's world be like if THAT were the first phrase he heard when he's about to have a meltdown, has just gotten his first F, has been turned down for a part in the play - or, worse yet - by the person he's just asked on a date for the first time?
It works in every circumstance - try it!
Another quick way to say it, "You just don't have it figured out - YET."
That simple 3-letter "YET" opens up so many possibilities…
If you are looking for a new approach with your son - from your words to your actions and to your understanding of WHO he really is "under the hood" Boys Alive! offers consistent opportunities to do that very thing. From on-line classes, to The Solutions Center to private Family Coaching — you do NOT have to go it alone!
OH, and that secret I learned from my sister?
Which I have no memory of, thankfully...my parents taped our mouths shut when we wouldn't stop talking together at bedtime. I was shocked to hear that - parenting in the 50's - it was a different time and place, eh?
But horrible examples of bad parenting like that are all the more reason to get a handle on your words and actions and get to the deeper understanding of your son's motivations, actions, and responses! You’ll find all of the Boys Alive! offerings at our website.
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