TOP TIPS for BOYS 

by Janet Allison, Founder of Boys Alive! & Co-host of ON BOYS Parenting Podcast

Remember that what’s good for boys is good for girls, too!

1.  MOVE!  When his body is moving, his brain is moving. Take movement breaks often. Encourage walking, biking, jump jacks, or wrestling before school. Heavy work or pressure on joints (like push-ups) helps his body stay calm. Using fidgets or doodling when he has to sit can help him channel his need to move. Try alternative seating or allow him to stand. Cooped up inside? Try a mini-trampoline, pogo stick, or climbing wall.

2.  READ!  Developmentally, boys tend to read later than girls. Boys prefer reading relevant material in bite-size chunks such as catalogs, magazines, and instruction manuals.  Be sure he sees men reading.  He may not sit still while you read aloud – let him draw or move around – he is still listening!

3.  FEWER WORDS! from you. He processes fewer words at a time and does so more slowly.  Adults typically speak at 170 words per minute, young children typically process at about 125 words per minute. Slow down, say less, pause. Use non-verbal cues, signals, and pictures instead of words. Give one direction at a time. Fewer words means he’ll respond more readily with less overwhelm (think bullet points!).

4.  MEN, ELDERS, MENTORS!  Do you know the men he has in his life? Include men in the classroom and field trips (you may have to specifically ask, they may not think to volunteer). Give him tasks that support his innate drive to serve and help others. Don’t “rescue” him (and encourage parents not to rescue, either) - instead, help him problem solve.

5. RELATIONSHIP!  Build and maintain a strong relationship with him. He will work hard for you, if he feels like you “get” him. If he’s stuck, he likely won’t ask for help but will get rowdy instead. 

6. FRIENDSHIPS! His social groups change often - and many boys who fight usually end up being better friends. Friend groups expand over shared interests & activities - video games, sports, etc. Conversation isn’t necessary. Boys tend to avoid self-revelations. Boy friendships are often physical - lots of wrestling, bumping into, etc.

WHAT ACTION WILL YOU TAKE?

What 3 specific changes will you implement in your routine, environment, and/or communication style with boys?

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Here’s the NEXT STEP whether you are parenting or teaching…

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