Hi, I’m Janet. I’m here to help you cope with boy-challenges. Whether it’s his big emotions - like anger, worrying about his ‘normal’ development, or how to handle his insatiable desire for more screen time…I can help.
As parents and teachers, we can’t approach these dilemmas like we used to, and what works for girls often doesn’t work for boys. We’re at a critical crossroads. Boys need us to show up. I’m here to show up with you.
“Mom, all the girls in class are perfect. I’m the bad one.”
— 7-year-old boy
We are nurturing, compassionate mothers and fathers.
We are hard-working, innovative educators.
But very few of us are born understanding boys!
While our girls are getting important messages to “go for it!” our boys are being told to “dial it down!” Boys face a narrower path to finding their place in the world, and statistics show they are being left behind.
Boys are four to five times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD. They are disciplined and medicated for their “lack of attention” and “behavior problems.” Their self-confidence and grades suffer, and they are more likely to drop out of high school than girls.
From birth through middle school, women are typically the primary parent, teachers, and care providers. Mothers spend twice as much time parenting as fathers, and 87% of elementary school teachers are women.
It is basic human nature that we tend to be most comfortable with those who are like us. It is natural and normal. We must ask ourselves, though, are we—especially women—evaluating boys through the lens of our own expectations? Through feminine ideas of what is acceptable and normal? Ignoring key hardwired differences between males and females puts us all at a disadvantage.
Our gendered differences are subtle but profound. And they matter.
There is nothing wrong with our boys, and we can no longer afford to ignore the real, hardwired differences between boys and girls. These tangible differences are the framework for how each learns and interacts with the world.
It is time for a social revolution that recognizes the struggles that boys face. It is time to shift to a mindset that values their exuberance and unique perspectives and includes all aspects of gender expression. The revolution begins with us—their parents, educators, care providers and youth leaders. We must not only recognize the need for this change but also stand ready to implement them to make a difference for our boys.
We can lift up boys and empower girls at the same time. We can make family life and school life better for all children. We must bring out the best in every boy, and by working together, we can!
What others are saying:
“I feel sometimes he is punished for being a boy. I know that I kept denying that boys and girls are different out of fear that it meant there was something wrong with his behavior or that I was making excuses. I realize how detrimental it is for me to believe that boys and girls can, do and will respond and act the same in the same situation, because that is not reality. I’m one of four girls in my family.
“Before becoming a parent of boys (I have three, ages 5 and younger), and even up until hearing you talk on a live stream for Amazon, I would never admit to myself that boys ARE different, because I thought admitting that was wrong (especially in this world where we are striving for equality). I now realize that equality does not mean treating everyone the same but allowing them the equal opportunity to succeed in their own right.
“It honestly was completely mind-blowing to think I might have been a HUGE factor in not setting up my boys for success, by expecting them to act like girls, or at least not act like themselves.”
—Jacquie Ott, mom of three young boys, Seattle, Washington
“Janet’s webinar on advocating for boys was refreshing. With the authority that comes from her years of experience as an educator and coach, she generously and enthusiastically shared information and knowledge about the unique needs of boys and how they learn with clarity. Her style was open and approachable as she encouraged observations and questions from participants.”
—Amyra Braha, grief counselor and educator
“GREAT podcast! Thank you so much. Very insightful episode. Best of all was hearing that I, as a single mom, can raise healthy boys to become healthy men. I will listen to it again and again and buy the book!”
—Dr. Irene Hage, Copenhagen, Denmark